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¿How to help calm someone in the face of a mistake or accept theirmistake ?

THEME:¿COMO AYUDAR A CALMAR A ALGUIEN ANTE UN ERROR O ACEPTAR SU ERROR? (HOW TO HELP CALM SOMEONE IN THE FACE OF A MISTAKE OR ACCEPT THEIR MISTAKE?) 1.-Listen withouth judging: Listen without judging: When he wants to talk to you about what is happening to him, adopt a relaxed and close posture. Show that you are interested in what he/she has to tell you, even if he/she has repeated it more than once. Try to maintain eye contact and not be in multitasking mode. Listen to everything he/she has to tell you, with a non-judgmental attitude, without categorizing or, much less, diagnosing. Although it may not seem to be helpful, for many people it is very therapeutic to be able to express what they feel and what is happening to them. It is not always necessary for the receiver to be an expert in psychology. (LU)

2.- Don't minimize (or maximize) your problem: ("That's nonsense", "you'll see that soon you will get over it", "are we back to the same thing? Far from helping, all these statements can increase the sense of frustration of the person who suffers for not being able to overcome something that seems so simple to others. "You are not well", "this is very serious". These statements can worry the sufferer excessively and worsen his or her symptoms. Some phrases that you can use to comfort the person and give their problem the right importance could be: "I see that you are suffering", "we can look for solutions together". (ANGEL)

3.- Encourage without pressure: A very common characteristic of most psychological problems is that the person stops doing some things he/she did before the symptom, either out of fear, lack of motivation, etc. You can encourage him/her to resume some activity that used to comfort him/her, but without pressuring him/her to do it. To do this, you can also propose to be his companion in that activity, or some more feasible or simple alternative. (ALEXIS)

4.- Ask permission to talk about it and approach: Would you like to talk? This can be a good way to start a conversation about the person's problem. Never talk to a third party about someone else's problem in front of them. Always let the sufferer talk about his or her own problem (LU)

5.-do not focus on their tuning: Often, people suffering from psychological distress tend to focus their concern on the symptoms they have. That is, perhaps someone with anxiety focuses on the fact that sometimes it is hard to breathe, or that he eats compulsively. Another person with depression may focus on his or her feelings of sadness and lack of motivation. In a first stage, it is very well, as I have commented previously, to listen attentively and free of judgments everything that the person has to explain. However, far from inviting you to act as a psychologist, you can encourage the person to find out what may have made them feel this way.

6- Do not give advice or lessons: "What you should do is...", "You should do", "What happens to you is...". As much as you may have gone through a similar situation yourself, remember that not all of us deal with problems in the same way, so something that worked very well for you may not be a solution for someone else at all. You can talk about your experience and how you found solutions (that can be very enriching for the other person) but, as always, from a non-judgmental position and without expecting the other person to go through the same steps. (ALEXIS)

7- Offer professional help: If you see that the person has been living with his or her distress for a long time, you can encourage him or her to see a mental health professional to put an end to it. Don't give them a list of psychologists you have sought out or have been recommended to you. You can tell him that talking to an expert might help him more than just talking to people close to him. Also remind him that you don't have to be crazy to go to a psychologist, but that sometimes it is very useful to improve certain difficulties. In case he/she is open but with certain resistances or fear to go to a psychologist, you can offer to help him/her to look for a good professional or even accompany him/her to the consultation as many times as necessary. However, unless the person asks you to do so, never speak out of turn. (LU

8.- remember what you feel: Whether the above tips work for you or not, remind the grieving person from time to time that you will be there for him/her no matter what, and that he/she can count on your support. You can remind him/her of the things you like about him/her and why you love or appreciate him/her. This is very comforting for people who are suffering and, even if they don't know how to thank you at the time, it helps them to know that there is someone who, despite everything that is happening to them, is there for them. (ANGEL)

9.- cultivate your patience and take care of yourself: As I said above, everyone needs time and to learn their own resources to overcome certain situations. So, be patient and remember that, although sometimes it may seem so, the vast majority of people do not suffer of their own free will. You may falter at times, since accompanying and/or living with a person with a psychological disorder/discomfort is a very difficult task. Do not feel guilty if you get angry or frustrated at times, nor if you need a break. In fact, for you to be able to help someone well, the most important thing is that you do not forget to take care of yourself. (ALEXIS