Feelings and Needs

I got a feelin'!

All emotions are functional! They are a compass pointing towards our met and unmet needs. Understanding how our feeling and our needs are connected increases the likleyhood that they will be met!

Feelings / Emotions

Human Needs

How to use them!

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There are no good or bad feelings or emotions, only comfortable and uncomfortable. ** Feelings and emotions are different from thoughts and judgements. **

1. A common confusion used in the English Language is to used the world feel without actually expressing a feeling.
   1. If you can replace "I feel" with "I think, it is not an emotion.
   2. Check to see if the word for the emotion you are describing is how you think others are behaving: manipulated, misunderstood, overworked, unsupported, etc.

Feelings/ Emotions Thoughts/Judgments"I feel deflated and ashamed.""I feel lonely.""I feel hurt.""I feel safe and respected."“I feel like a failure.” “I feel like you don’t love me.”“I feel unimportant to the people on my team”"I feel my boss is responsible"

All emotions are functional! They are a compass pointing towards our met or unmet human needs. Our needs cause our feelings. They are universal among human beings and are ongoing and not related to a specific person taking a specific action. Because they are universal to all humans, they are easier for others to understand or empathize with. **Human needs are different from strategies used to meet them.** NeedsStrategies/Criticisms Clarity Inspiration Rest Quiet, calm Asking a questions when you don’t understand Try something new Set an alarm to remember to get 8 hours of sleep "You irritated me."

Making Yes-or-No Decisions

• Write down the emotions you imagine yourself feeling if you answered yes in one column and no in the other.
• Are there any needs associated with the emotions that you could meet or request be met?

Choosing from Several Options

• Write down each choice and then identify the feelings and emotions that you have when you imagine yourself saying “yes” to each option.

Solving Problems

• Describe the problem and how it makes you feel now, then describe how you would rather feel.
• What are the needs associated with those emotions that you could meet or request to be met?

Resolving Conflict

• Each person writes down the feelings and emotions that they are experiencing.
• Look at your lists and start discussion on the emotions that you share or that are closely related to each other.
• Ask questions about emotions present on the other person’s list
• Are there any needs associated with the emotions that you could meet or request be met?

YOUR TASK! 1. Write down a problem that you have tried to solve, a conflict that you have been trying to resolve, or a choice you have been trying to make on your notecard. Do not use specific names, please! 2. Turn in your card to a teacher. 3. Decide what strategy you need and pull out that set of cards -Making Yes-or-No Decisions -Choosing from Several Options -Solving Problems -Resolving Conflict

YOUR TASK! 1. Get into groups of 6 2. Lay out all of your emotion cards 3. Split them into comfortable and uncomfortable feelings

YOUR TASK! 1. Flip all of your emotion cards over, so the emotion is face down. 2. Take turns flipping over one card at a time. 3. As a group use your needs sheet to decided what possible need(s) that emotion or feeling might be indicating.