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Transcript

Last minute rescue in Berlin

DEUTSH ZEITUNG NICHT FÜR DIE ARMEN

Vol.146322269854712697 Friday, september 29, 2021 $500,53

Rocket Raccoon, the most useful hero?

By Hanz Gunter Richter Kapitalistisch

As you know, the plebeians are more and more virulent these days towards the wealthy population. We advise you, dear rich readers ( so all our readers), to go out protected by your bodyguards, because we had again the proof of this aggressiveness this Friday, in Berlin.

Indeed, while an honest, wealthy citizen named Hopfer Rechts was quietly strolling down the street with only one gold bar, not two because he was not in the mood, and not three because he lost one, dangerous poor people attacked him. Three men named Ohne Wohnsitz, Dieb Hungriger and Pöbel Gewalttätig.
They tried to steal his big ingot, and Rocket Raccoon arrived while the rich were crying and calling for his mother. He came out of the garbage (the house of the aggressors) and defended the victim. Once again, this raccoon is a proof of the power of justice and the strength of determination (he was determined to make this guy stop crying because it was a very unpleasant sound).

So we can come to the conclusion that Rocket Raccoon is the most useful hero, because he serves above all our rich community (of course, it's because we are unbearable, but he helps us anyway). At last, a hero who doesn't only help the poor, at last, a hero who is not guided by any morality, like us, and who helps first and foremost those who don't need to be helped!