Relationships and Sex

Start

Creating a safe environment

No Personal Questions

BE ALERT TO DIFFERENT LIFE EXPERIENCES

Confidentiality

Challenge Stereotypes

No need to share anything personal

Contribute as you feel comfortable

Active listening

Challenge opinions, not people

Be Respectful

Ground Rules:

4. Harmful language

3. Porn and its impact

5. Sexual health

6. Sexual harassment

2. Consent

1. Power

Topics

1. Power

What is power and who has it?

Who has power?

What is power?

Who has power?

The ability to do something e.g. a faculty or quality .
The capacity or ability to direct the behaviour of others or the course of events.
Physical strength and force exerted by something or someone.

What is power?

Why is gender relevant to power?

Think about:-different perspectives-protected characteristicsCan power be in multiple people's advantage?

Why did you do it?
How did it make you feel?

Think of a time when you did something (non-sexual) that you really didn't want to do.

Think of a time when you have used your power to get what you want.

What was your reasoning?
With hindsight, was it the right thing to do?

Do they relate to each other?

Gender, power and consent

Make a LISTof all the stereotypes you can think of

START

GenderStereotypes

Blue

Burping

Lawyer

Cleaning

Scientist

Stereotypes

GENDER

Rescuing

Pink

Set of spanners

Computer programmer

Diet drinks

What’s the problem with gender stereotypes?
Do stereotypes reflect reality? Can they shape reality?
What pressures are there on people to conform to gender stereotypes? What can happen if they don’t conform?

Who suffers as a result of gender stereotypes?

How do gender stereotypes shape who holds power in society?

Where do these stereotypes come from?

Spoken word

How many of us fit totally or at all into these stereotypes?

Cultural beliefs

Our thoughts

Media

Families

Where do these stereotypes come from?

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

People should go for the jobs they think they would be good at and are interested in.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Maths is really difficult for girls.

People should go for the jobs they think they would be good at and are interested in.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Your gender should have no impact on your subject choices.

Maths is really difficult for girls.

People should go for the jobs they think they would be good at and are interested in.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Nursing is a profession best suited to women.

Your gender should have no impact on your subject choices.

Maths is really difficult for girls.

People should go for the jobs they think they would be good at and are interested in.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Males and females are equal.

Nursing is a profession best suited to women.

Your gender should have no impact on your subject choices.

Maths is really difficult for girls.

People should go for the jobs they think they would be good at and are interested in.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Boys are better than girls at science.

Males and females are equal.

Nursing is a profession best suited to women.

Your gender should have no impact on your subject choices.

Maths is really difficult for girls.

People should go for the jobs they think they would be good at and are interested in.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Girls do better in school than boys.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

English is really difficult for boys.

Girls do better in school than boys.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Design Technology is a boys subject.

English is really difficult for boys.

Girls do better in school than boys.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Being the only male/female in a class would put me off choosing that subject.

Design Technology is a boys subject.

English is really difficult for boys.

Girls do better in school than boys.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

The best job for you is one that matches your skills, abilities and personal qualities.

Being the only male/female in a class would put me off choosing that subject.

Design Technology is a boys subject.

English is really difficult for boys.

Girls do better in school than boys.

AGREE or DISAGREE ABOUT gender

Girls are better at sports than boys.

The best job for you is one that matches your skills, abilities and personal qualities.

Being the only male/female in a class would put me off choosing that subject.

Design Technology is a boys subject.

English is really difficult for boys.

Girls do better in school than boys.

Challenging Stereotypes

What are the differences and Similarities between a man and a woman?

What would a gender equal society look like?

How does the concept of masculinity affect men and women?

is there ‘room’ within your religion/culture to challenge existing gender norms? How would this best be done?

How does the concept of masculinity continue gender inequality?

How does this relate to LGBT relationships?

Women who report having less power in their relationships than their male partners have higher rates of HIV infection and other STIs, and young men who adhere to traditional concepts of masculinity are less likely to use condoms.

Topics

Questions? Concerns? Thoughts?

2. Consent

What does it mean? What is your definition?

Planned Parenthood

Always clearly communicated, not silent and always reversible.

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network

Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious.

Oxford Dictionary

Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.

When was the last time you didn't give it? In non-sexual terms

CONSENT

What isn't consent?

THEY DON'T SEEM LIKE THEY'RE 'INTO IT'

THE OTHER PERSON HASN'T ASKED YOU TO STOP

ANY ANSWER OTHER THAN 'YES'

WEARING A NICE OUTFIT

FLIRTING

Is this consent?

TRIVIAL

START

QUIZ

How old do you have to be to get confidential contraceptive treatment?

Any age

question 1/6

Reason: Any age! Any competent person can receive confidential treatment without parent's approval.

Right answer!

question 1/6

When can consent not be given?

When you are vulnerable

When you are sleeping

When you are under the influence

question 2/6

All of the answers are correct!

Right answer!

question 2/6

What is the legal consent age?

question 3/6

Right answer!

You must be 16 in order to give consent.

Right a18nw2 23232322swer!

question 3/6 - HISTORY

How can you tell whether someone will consent to sex?

If they are dressed provocatively.

If you have had sex with them before.

If they specifically agree to sex at the time you ask them.

question 4/6

Right answer!

question 4/6

If you’ve asked for consent but you aren’t sure if your partner is into what you’ve suggested:

Try and convince them to say yes

Ask them again later

Respect their answer and do something else

question 5/6

Right answer!

question 5/6

Once you’ve both consented, you can still tell your partner…

If you would like to stop

If you need a break

What you’re into and not into

question 6/6

They are all correct!

Right answer!

QUESTION 6/6

Percentage of 18-25 year olds who had never spoken to a parent about the topic (2017)

56%

57%

58%

61%

62%

The importance of not continuing to ask someone to have sex after they have said no.

Being sure your partner wants to have sex and is comfortable doing so before having sex.

The importance of being a caring and respectful sexual partner.

The importance of not having sex with someone who is too impaired to make a decision about sex.

The importance of not pressuring someone to have sex with you.

Get more explicit chat about sexual behaviours.
Only get enough information on how to prevent their own assaults.

What girls receive:

Get very different chat about sexual behaviours.
Only get enough information about consent to prevent illegal actions related to assaults.

What boys receive:

Non-Verbal

Verbal

What does verbal and non-verbal consent look like?

VS - examples

Non-Verbal

Verbal

If your partner is very quiet, or lying still, that that isn’t the enthusiastic consent you’re looking for, and it’s time to communicate before you keep going.

VS - examples

It is worth mentioning that men need to consent as well.Teenage boys and men can also feel pressured or coerced into situations, despite saying no. Even if they’re visibly or physically aroused, does not mean that have given consent.

Conflict

Sets stage for girl's boundaries to be broken

Confident people listen and respect the needs of their partner. Continuing to push when someone says ‘stop’ isn’t cool or powerful, it’s creepy and dangerous.

Through the eyes of TV/movies, what does confidence look like in boys when it comes to winning their love interest or having sex?

Men are frequently seen strategizing how to trick women into bed. And not taking no for an answer is often portrayed as a successful, and sometimes even romantic, strategy.

How does your behavior change when you've had too much to drink?

How can you protect yourself?

How will you know if your drinking or drug use has reached a dangerous level, or crossed into addiction?

Questions to ask yourself...

How will you know when you've had too much to drink?

How will you know if it's okay to kiss someone or have sex with them when you've had a lot to drink?

How will you handle it if your driver has had too much to drink?

Does your work have something similar?

Cup of Tea

Topics

Questions? Concerns? Thoughts?

3. Porn and its Impact

What's real?

QUIZ

START

PLANET EARTH

PLANET PORN

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Planet Porn

Planet Earth

Watching porn alone, in a private place can be a very healthy part of someone’s sex life and self-discovery and is nothing to be ashamed of.

But we must remember that it is acting and it is dramatised!

The law

In the UK, watching porn when you’re under 18 isn’t against the law, but it is illegal to buy until you turn 18.
If you accidently see sexual images or videos of someone you think might be under 18, you can report it quickly, easily and anonymously to the Internet Watch Foundation (iwf.org.uk).

Under 18s

What is illegal in porn?

The law

Under 18s

What is illegal in porn?

Under 18s taking sexual pictures or making sexual videos of themselves or each other - even if they have agreed to it, it is classed as child abuse imagery

Sending or receiving naked images of a person under 18 - even if they were taken or sent with their permission

Showing porn to a young person under 18

The law

Scenes

What is illegal in porn?

The law

Animals

Acts that are likely to cause serious injury to a person’s anus, breasts or genitals

Scenes

What is illegal in porn?

Dead people

Life-threatening violence

Sexual assault or rape

The law

Porn vs Real Life

Don’t compare yourself or your partner(s) to the people you see in porn - the bodies you see in porn are usually not realistic.

BODIES

Porn vs Real Life

Genitals in porn are often hairless and uniformed. In reality, penises and vulvas come in lots of different shapes, sizes and colours.

GENITALS

Don’t compare yourself or your partner(s) to the people you see in porn - the bodies you see in porn are usually not realistic.

BODIES

Porn vs Real Life

Porn doesn’t promote safer sex. We rarely see any contraception being used or discussed, and there is no communication about consent.

CONTRACEPTION & CONSENT

Genitals in porn are often hairless and uniformed. In reality, penises and vulvas come in lots of different shapes, sizes and colours.

GENITALS

Don’t compare yourself or your partner(s) to the people you see in porn - the bodies you see in porn are usually not realistic.

BODIES

Porn vs Real Life

Porn doesn’t promote safer sex. We rarely see any contraception being used or discussed, and there is no communication about consent.

CONTRACEPTION & CONSENT

Sex in porn looks smoother than sex in real life. They edit out any of the silly or clumsy moments that make sex in real life more fun!

SEX

Genitals in porn are often hairless and uniformed. In reality, penises and vulvas come in lots of different shapes, sizes and colours.

GENITALS

Don’t compare yourself or your partner(s) to the people you see in porn - the bodies you see in porn are usually not realistic.

BODIES

Porn vs Real Life

Signs of unhealthy porn use:

Negatively affecting your feelings about yourself, your partner, your body or your behaviour

Occupying your time or your thoughts too much

Impacting on the time you spend doing other activities (e.g. work, studies, hobbies or socialising)

Making you feel anxious or ashamed

Signs of unhealthy porn use:

Looking for more extreme porn to turn you on

Watching it and not really enjoying it

isn't about performance or looking your best, it's about pleasure.

Remember:

Sex in real life

Topics

Questions? Concerns? Thoughts?

4. Harmful Language

Never/ rarely/ termly/ monthly/ weekly/ daily

How frequently do you:

Hear disrespectful language in college?
Hear sexist language in college?
Hear homophobic language in college?

How confident are you with challenging it? What do you say?

This also excludes transgender and non-binary folks.

When we separate genders in Sex ed, we continue the cultural taboo of not talking about things with mixed company

How do the opposite sex talk about the other when they aren't in the room?

Circle any words you think are offensive.

– Slang words and proper words are allowed.

Sexual parts of the body - boys

Sexual activities

Sexual parts of the body - girls

In small groups, create 3 lists:

Circle any words you think are offensive. Are there any differences between the words for girls and boys sexual body parts?

– Slang words and proper words are allowed.

Sexual parts of the body - boys

Sexual activities

Sexual parts of the body - girls

In small groups, create 3 lists:

Looking at the list of sexual activities. Are there any activities which can only be done by someone who is male or female?

– Slang words and proper words are allowed.

Sexual parts of the body - boys

Sexual activities

Sexual parts of the body - girls

In small groups, create 3 lists:

Is anyone offended by the language that was used?

Not Harmful

Very Harmful

Phrase 3

Phrase 2

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

Wearing the pants in the relationship

Phrase 1

Phrase 3

Phrase 2

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

Wearing the pants in the relationship - implying the manly or dominant figure, women rarely wore pants out in public

Phrase 1

Phrase 3

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride

Phrase 2

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

Wearing the pants in the relationship - implying the manly or dominant figure, women rarely wore pants out in public

Phrase 1

Phrase 3

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride - implying a person's goal should be marriage

Phrase 2

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

Wearing the pants in the relationship - implying the manly or dominant figure, women rarely wore pants out in public

Phrase 1

Telling someone to grow a pair

Phrase 3

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride - implying a person's goal should be marriage

Phrase 2

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

Wearing the pants in the relationship - implying the manly or dominant figure, women rarely wore pants out in public

Phrase 1

Telling someone to grow a pair - implying a weakness tied to gender and having specific organs makes someone competent

Phrase 3

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride - implying a person's goal should be marriage

Phrase 2

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

Wearing the pants in the relationship - implying the manly or dominant figure, women rarely wore pants out in public

Phrase 1

Phrase 6

Phrase 5

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

One of the guys

Phrase 4

Phrase 6

Phrase 5

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

One of the guys - seems to suggest that all people who identify as men are laid back and enjoy stereotypically masculine activities

Phrase 4

Phrase 6

Boys will be boys

Phrase 5

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

One of the guys - seems to suggest that all people who identify as men are laid back and enjoy stereotypically masculine activities

Phrase 4

Phrase 6

Boys will be boys - meaning a boy's actions are excused, that they can't be taught any better and can't control themselves

Phrase 5

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

One of the guys - seems to suggest that all people who identify as men are laid back and enjoy stereotypically masculine activities

Phrase 4

Friend zone

Phrase 6

Boys will be boys - meaning a boy's actions are excused, that they can't be taught any better and can't control themselves

Phrase 5

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

One of the guys - seems to suggest that all people who identify as men are laid back and enjoy stereotypically masculine activities

Phrase 4

Friend zone - used to shame women for turning down someone's romantic advances

Phrase 6

Boys will be boys - meaning a boy's actions are excused, that they can't be taught any better and can't control themselves

Phrase 5

Not Harmful or Very Harmful phrases?

One of the guys - seems to suggest that all people who identify as men are laid back and enjoy stereotypically masculine activities

Phrase 4

Around 9 in 10 of the girls spoken to said that sexist name calling and being sent unwanted explicit pictures or videos happened 'a lot' or 'sometimes'.

Review of sexual abuse in schools and colleges in 2021

What Ofsted have found:

Around 9 in 10 of the girls spoken to said that sexist name calling and being sent unwanted explicit pictures or videos happened 'a lot' or 'sometimes'.

Children often don’t see the point of challenging or reporting this harmful behaviour because it’s seen as a normal experience.

Review of sexual abuse in schools and colleges in 2021

What Ofsted have found:

Around 9 in 10 of the girls spoken to said that sexist name calling and being sent unwanted explicit pictures or videos happened 'a lot' or 'sometimes'.

Children often don’t see the point of challenging or reporting this harmful behaviour because it’s seen as a normal experience.

Girls were frustrated that there wasn’t clear teaching of what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, and many had turned to social media or their peers to educate each other.

Review of sexual abuse in schools and colleges in 2021

What Ofsted have found:

Topics

Questions? Concerns? Thoughts?

5. Sexual Health

What do you know about it?

FGM:

A practice that involves partial or total removal or injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons

Baby, during childhood, adolescence or at the time of marriage

When?

Loss of blood
Pain or shock
Difficulties in urinating
Difficulties with periods
Increased UTIs
Fertility problems

Health issues

Tradition and religion
Improve hygiene and cleanliness
Improving a girls’ marriage
Promoting cultural identity
Increasing fertility
Becoming a woman

Why?

Under the age of 15 are most at risk in the UK

24, 000

Estimated of people living with FGM

200 mil

Depending on the extent of the cut

4 types

Harmful and considered child abuse

Illegal

In Africa and the Middle East, some of in Asia and Latin America. In immigrant populations living in Western Europe, North America, Australia and New Zealand.

30 Countries

Definition

Cutting, circumcision, tahoor, sunna, gudiniin, halalays, bondo

Other names

10 FIGURES & DATA ABOUT FGM

Percentage of girls and women aged 15 to 49 years who have undergone FGM, by country

Natural

Types of FGM

The narrowing of the vaginal opening by cutting and repositioning the labia sometimes through stitching

Type 3 Infibulation

The partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora

Type 2 Excision

The partial or total removal of the clitoris

Type 1 Clitoridectomy

Natural

Types of FGM

Any other harmful procedures of the female genitalia including pricking, piercing, incising, scraping, and cauterizing.

Type 4

The narrowing of the vaginal opening by cutting and repositioning the labia sometimes through stitching

Type 3 Infibulation

The partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora

Type 2 Excision

The partial or total removal of the clitoris

Type 1 Clitoridectomy

Natural

Types of FGM

Support

There are places in the UK that can offer help and support to those who are worried about FGM. This includes schools, colleges, police, child line, social services, and FGM organisations.

Illegal

FGM is illegal in the UK. No one is allowed to arrange for FGM to happen whilst they are in the UK and it is also illegal for someone to take a girl outside of the UK for FGM.

High Risk

There are girls and women in the UK who have undergone FGM, and may be having health problems that need support and protection.

FGM in the UK

Topics

Questions? Concerns? Thoughts?

6. Sexual Harassment

Please be respectful - you do not know what other people have experienced, whether personally, via a friend or family member.If the topics bring anything up for you, there are support resources that are linked at the end.

We won’t be going into explicit details of violence, but this is still a very difficult subject.

Before we go on...

Start

What do you think it is? What can be considered sexual harassment?

What is sexual harassment?

catcalls or whistling

constant pressure for dates

Starting Rumours about sex life

Comments about anatomy

Deliberate touching

Unwanted:

Sexual pressure

Sexual messages

Sexual jokes

Personal gifts

Licking lips

Sexual signals

Looks/gestures

Is not desirde by both people

Is desired by both people

Is demeaning and hurtful

Is one-sided

Involves reciprocal actions

Is constructive and stimulating

Flirtation VS Harassment

Respects personal boundaries

Reduces self-confidence

Violates personal boundaries

Is a sourse of irritation

Is a source of pleasure

Increases self-confidence

Sexual harassment

how common is it?

What are the stats?

4 out of 10 had been groped or faced unwelcomed touching

1 in 5 faced indecent exposure

Over half have experienced catcalling

35% of girls say this has happened whilst in school uniform

97% of women (18-24) have experienced sexual harassment

What are the stats?

14% have experienced whistling, honking, aggressive staring

17% faced unwanted touching or brushed up against, in a sexual way

10% have experienced sexual coersion

34% of men say the most common form is verbally harassed

43% of men have experienced sexual harassment

90%

20% / 4%

of women / men have experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16

of those who are raped know the perpetrator beforehand

The Crime Survey for England and Wales (2017) estimated:

of those who experience sexual violence report to the police

15%

How common is sexual Assault?

What can this look like?

What is it?

Peer on Peer Abuse:

What would you do if you had a concern?

Teenage Relationship Abuse

On and Offline Bullying

Emotional Harm

Sexual Harassment

Physical and Sexual Abuse

A form of Harmful Sexual Behaviour (HSB) where sexual abuse takes place between children of a similar age or stage of development

Peer on Peer Abuse

Why are sexual harassments or assaults not reported?

Belief that they are responsible

Shame

Fear of punishment

Belief that police won't do anything

Not enough evidence

Fear of retaliation

don't report sexual harassment or assault

6 reasons why people

How do we change this culture?

We need to not only encourage survivors to come forward, but actively support them by creating a society where abuse and harassment are taken seriously by everyone.

Protect Yourself

Whether it's Murder or Sexual Assault

...it's not the victims fault

A charity supporting LGBTQ survivors of hate crimes, sexual violence or domestic abuse

galop.org.uk

mankind.org.uk

womensaid.org.uk

National charity support people who have experienced sexual abuse and violence

nationaldahelpline.org.uk

rapecrisis.org.uk

National charity supporting victims of all forms of domestic abuse

For more...

SUPPORT

There will be a survey that is posted on Classroom to get further details on whether you have experienced this in college, etc.Feel free to complete this in your own time.

Survey

Topics

Questions? Concerns? Thoughts?

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